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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Why Yo Gabba Gabba is the darkest kid's show ever made

I have finally discovered the awful truth behind that highly-addictive, super colorful, slightly off-putting show called Yo Gabba Gabba.*

I was always slightly resistant to the show; it just seemed so... something. I could never figure it out, but something about it was wrong. Today, while watching the "Family" episode with my niece and nephew, I finally came to understand why it's wrong.

Muno, as this episode shows, is not the five-year-old we all thought he was. He's the same size as his father, yet he refuses to take baths and plays with toys. Obviously, he's a grown man with the stunted mind of a child and lives in a special home ("Gabbaland").

The spontaneous singing and dancing? Obviously, these moments are hallucinations from either:
Why is he pointing at me?!
Am I next?!

1. Foofa, the drug addict. Have you seen her? Even the kids pick up on it! You cannot ignore her Mary Jane-induced calm acid-trip talking garden.

2. Brobee, the bipolar psychopath. He really scares me. From the way he happily eats the (apparently sentient) food to his weird and sudden mood swings. Just look at that intensely creepy stare. And why are his horns so red?! Why does he even have horns?!

3. Toodie, the paranoid schizophrenic. She talks to ants, sings about fish, and has to have a special doctor when even DJ Lance can't help her.

Then, there's DJ Lance Rock, the doctor (probably using the strange clothes and name so as not to upset his temperamental patients), and Plex is the orderly who has to put up with teaching them remedial tasks and warning them about eating food off the ground. "Super Music Friend Show" shows how the medication is administered: through mind-controlling televisions (so it's the fifties). That's not even getting into how DJ Lance can wake them up and send them to sleep whenever he wants.

I've done my research, and now I know why this show is freakin' creepy. That's not to say I don't like it; it's a cool show, and I enjoy the bright colors and fun music. It's just really scary at the same time.

Next on Childhood Ruiners: "Why Sesame Street is Satanic."**

*This is a comedy article, not to be taken seriously (unless you really want to). Is the whole thing just a big coincidence? Maybe. But I doubt it.

**This was a one-time idea; I won't be writing another one. I also have no proof to support the claim that demons control Elmo and a Ernie is the muppet equivalent of Saw. But I suspect.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Bronies and Pegasisters

I'm finally writing another blog post. Shocking, isn't it? Should I let my imaginary reader friends know where I've been?

Nah, I'll just write about ponies.*
This is a pony. She loves you.

So I have a three-year-old niece. She watches My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now, when I was babysitting her, and she wanted to watch it, I was a little worried. I mean, c'mon, ponies. Magic ponies. But I watched it anyway, starting with the first episode because that's how I roll. And it was all right. So I watched some more.

That show is freakin' hilarious. Seriously! Being as ignorant as I am, I knew nothing about bronies or Lauren Faust or anything. I just loved Rainbow Dash (and the others grew on me) zipping around and being awesome.

Now, while the ponies are adorable and super cool and all, it's the "background characters" I like. While the Mane 6 (that's what they're called, trust me) are obviously going to be at the center of attention, the fans of the show have really given life to the often-seen but rarely-introduced background characters. These are a few of them (my favorites):

Fan name: Doctor Whoof (or Whooves) of Gallopfrey
Show-given name: None yet
Commonly known and rumored to be based on the Tenth Doctor.
Fan name: DJ Pon-3 (or Vinyl Scratch)
Show-given name: None (but promotional ads and toy boxes use DJ Pon-3)
A fan-favorite, not as well-known as some of the others.
(I thought she was a boy for a while... but I love her.)
Fan name: Derpy Hooves
Show-given name: Derpy Doo (originally "Ditzy," but Faust changed the script for the fans)
A lot of controversy surrounds her, but Derpy is beloved by fans
and usually depicted as Doctor Whoof's assistant. She also likes muffins.
There are many other characters, but I love these three, maybe even more than I love Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. I don't go for arguments and debates (such as, "cloppers," the Derpy issue, and the overall opposition to bronies). I'm just in it for the ponies, music, and vivid fanficiton. It's fun, and it makes me smile, which is something everyone needs from time to time. (Or every day.)

So there you go. That's my take on MLP: FiM. Maybe later I'll do a post on where I've been the past few months, and then possibly begin updating this blog again. We'll see.
Bonus fanart! (It's not mine. I'm not sure who made it.)

*Disclaimer: You don't have to like ponies or bronies. I don't care. It's just a fandom, like any other, and I don't expect you to jump on board. I'd like to hear your thoughts of course, but I won't approve comments that are straight-up trolling or hate for bronies. That stuff isn't allowed here.