Why Yo Gabba Gabba is the darkest kid's show ever made

I have finally discovered the awful truth behind that highly-addictive, super colorful, slightly off-putting show called Yo Gabba Gabba.*

I was always slightly resistant to the show; it just seemed so... something. I could never figure it out, but something about it was wrong. Today, while watching the "Family" episode with my niece and nephew, I finally came to understand why it's wrong.

Muno, as this episode shows, is not the five-year-old we all thought he was. He's the same size as his father, yet he refuses to take baths and plays with toys. Obviously, he's a grown man with the stunted mind of a child and lives in a special home ("Gabbaland").

The spontaneous singing and dancing? Obviously, these moments are hallucinations from either:

Why is he pointing at me?!
Am I next?!

1. Foofa, the drug addict. Have you seen her? Even the kids pick up on it! You cannot ignore her Mary Jane-induced calm acid-trip talking garden.

2. Brobee, the bipolar psychopath. He really scares me. From the way he happily eats the (apparently sentient) food to his weird and sudden mood swings. Just look at that intensely creepy stare. And why are his horns so red?! Why does he even have horns?!

3. Toodie, the paranoid schizophrenic. She talks to ants, sings about fish, and has to have a special doctor when even DJ Lance can't help her.

Then, there's DJ Lance Rock, the doctor (probably using the strange clothes and name so as not to upset his temperamental patients), and Plex is the orderly who has to put up with teaching them remedial tasks and warning them about eating food off the ground. "Super Music Friend Show" shows how the medication is administered: through mind-controlling televisions (so it's the fifties). That's not even getting into how DJ Lance can wake them up and send them to sleep whenever he wants.

I've done my research, and now I know why this show is freakin' creepy. That's not to say I don't like it; it's a cool show, and I enjoy the bright colors and fun music. It's just really scary at the same time.

Next on Childhood Ruiners: "Why Sesame Street is Satanic."**

*This is a comedy article, not to be taken seriously (unless you really want to). Is the whole thing just a big coincidence? Maybe. But I doubt it.

**This was a one-time idea; I won't be writing another one. I also have no proof to support the claim that demons control Elmo and a Ernie is the muppet equivalent of Saw. But I suspect.

Bronies and Pegasisters

I'm finally writing another blog post. Shocking, isn't it? Should I let my imaginary reader friends know where I've been?

Nah, I'll just write about ponies.*

This is a pony. She loves you.

So I have a three-year-old niece. She watches My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Now, when I was babysitting her, and she wanted to watch it, I was a little worried. I mean, c'mon, ponies. Magic ponies. But I watched it anyway, starting with the first episode because that's how I roll. And it was all right. So I watched some more.

That show is freakin' hilarious. Seriously! Being as ignorant as I am, I knew nothing about bronies or Lauren Faust or anything. I just loved Rainbow Dash (and the others grew on me) zipping around and being awesome.

Now, while the ponies are adorable and super cool and all, it's the "background characters" I like. While the Mane 6 (that's what they're called, trust me) are obviously going to be at the center of attention, the fans of the show have really given life to the often-seen but rarely-introduced background characters. These are a few of them (my favorites):

Fan name: Doctor Whoof (or Whooves) of Gallopfrey
Show-given name: None yet
Commonly known and rumored to be based on the Tenth Doctor.

Fan name: DJ Pon-3 (or Vinyl Scratch)
Show-given name: None (but promotional ads and toy boxes use DJ Pon-3)
A fan-favorite, not as well-known as some of the others.
(I thought she was a boy for a while... but I love her.)

Fan name: Derpy Hooves
Show-given name: Derpy Doo (originally "Ditzy," but Faust changed the script for the fans)
A lot of controversy surrounds her, but Derpy is beloved by fans
and usually depicted as Doctor Whoof's assistant. She also likes muffins.

There are many other characters, but I love these three, maybe even more than I love Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. I don't go for arguments and debates (such as, "cloppers," the Derpy issue, and the overall opposition to bronies). I'm just in it for the ponies, music, and vivid fanficiton. It's fun, and it makes me smile, which is something everyone needs from time to time. (Or every day.)

So there you go. That's my take on MLP: FiM. Maybe later I'll do a post on where I've been the past few months, and then possibly begin updating this blog again. We'll see.

Bonus fanart! (It's not mine. I'm not sure who made it.)
The SCARF.

*Disclaimer: You don't have to like ponies or bronies. I don't care. It's just a fandom, like any other, and I don't expect you to jump on board. I'd like to hear your thoughts of course, but I won't approve comments that are straight-up trolling or hate for bronies. That stuff isn't allowed here.

What the cat's thinking...

Just a random idea I had a minute ago.

Meet a cat's eyes. The cat looks away.

What we think: "I have shown my dominance to this cat by staring it down."

What the cat thinks: "I have looked away first, thereby proving myself to be the bigger cat."

Meet a cat's eyes. Look away first.

What we think: "Whatever. It's just a dumb cat."

What the cat thinks: "I AM THE MASTER OF ALL!"

~~~~~

Meet a dog's eyes. The dog looks away.

What we think: "Ha, I'm the alpha dog!"

What the dog thinks: "Was that food being poured in my bowl? FOOD!"

Meet a dog's eyes. Look away first.

What we think it means: "Oops, now he'll think he's in charge!"

What the dog thinks: "Squirrel? Did you see a squirrel? Where's the squirrel?! SQUIRREL!"

I was cool after it was cool.

I think I look epically cool in Converse shoes, a black gamer t-shirt, blue jeans (that fit right), and my Circle pendant. As cool as David Tennant in "Smith and Jones" (Doctor Who, season 3: episode 2). If I'm wrong, well, you're the one who has to see my fail at trying to be cool. I'll be perfectly safe, wrapped up in my delusions.

So to recap: trainers + black t-shirt + blue jeans + Circle pendant = epically awesome me. Got it?

For God so loved you...

(This post got a bit rambly, but I can't decide on anything to take out, so... Enjoy. Thanks to Mrs. Lena Morgan for the idea and the title of the post.)

Easter is the day that we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus the Christ. And why would we celebrate the death of our God? It was a truly horrific event, something so awful that it would be rated R when a movie based on it came out (Passion of the Christ). But it was also beautiful. Astoundingly beautiful. And here's why.

"For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son so that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. For He sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world but through Him the world would be saved." - John 3:16-17

Hell was not intended for man. It was not created for those who sinned because we were never supposed to sin. We were created to be pure, but we failed in that and became dirty. Hell was created as a prison for the devil (not as a place for Satan to rule over sinners), and it still is, but everyone who follows him will also be put there.

Hell is eternity away from God.

Sin is not what we see it as. It is dark and disgusting, and all of it, in God's eyes, is the same. Lying and hatred, adultery and murder are equal in His eyes, and He is perfect. Our God can't stand to look at something so disgusting, so we could never be with Him.

Think about this: God is everywhere. Every breath you take, every drop of rain, atom in the universe is filled with His presence. We have never been away from Him because He is all around us. Even when you don't think He's there, He is. And we can feel it in our souls.

Hell is a place without God. He is not there. Hell is dark and cold and empty. Conscious oblivion.

However, (however! Aren't "howevers" wonderful?) God loves us. Despite everything we did, despite how quickly we turned away from Him, despite all the sin inside of us! He loves us. And He died for us on the first Good Friday over two thousand years ago, and He became alive again on that first Easter! He is alive, so alive, and He still loves us. Even after we murdered Him, He loves us.

He is the one with the power to create high mountains and raging seas, the passion to paint rainbows and sunsets across the sky, the reach to spread the stars throughout the universe and sand across the beach, and the delicacy to shape tiny fingers and flower petals. And He loves us with the fire of a billion burning stars.

So often, we Christians preach love and forgiveness but practice deceit and cruelty. We are mortal, but God is higher. He loves you, and He will forgive anything you have done. Turn and face him today, and He will accept you.